Reflections from the Retreat April 2025

A while ago I looked out to sea from my balcony and noticed the white sails of a few sailing boats on the horizon. It was unusual to see so many boats at once especially on a Tuesday as it is often Sunday afternoon when a few sailors are enjoying a weekend sail. After a little googling I realised that what I was observing was a race from Carriacou to Grenada as part of Grenada sailing week. As I watched the graceful boats bobbing up and down and navigating the strong currents around this coastline it seemed strange to think of it as a race. I think it must be the slowest race I have ever seen, and each sailing boat was quite a distance from the others as if it was hardly a race at all. A few times I thought that I had seen them all pass and then five or ten minutes later another one would come into view. I would watch it serenely sail close to the horizon beyond the small islands that I look out to and silently cheer it on.

In contrast to other races that I’ve watched such as the London marathon or school sports days this felt the quietest, calmest and most contemplative race I’ve ever seen. Yet, having learnt to sail myself, I could imagine the frantic pulling of the lines (ropes), the ducking under the boom and the frantic calls to teammates that would be happening on board as they fought to catch up with those ahead.

As I stood on the balcony with my morning coffee, I cheered each boat along silently as they passed. It was strange to think that they had no idea of my encouragement as they battled against the wild sea and strong winds. It reminded me of all the encouragement that I get from people locally as well as from miles away, some of which I am not aware of at all, but I sense an ongoing support. Some of it comes from neighbours and people I meet here. Then there are those of you who read this blog or follow us on Instagram, those who are on our mailing list and friends and family. As I continue to battle with the regular challenges that come with renovating an old house, I feel a silent encouragement from those watching my progress from afar.

I had a particular boost of encouragement from a group of women at the church I used to attend in Romford, UK. When Karen and Clive came at the beginning of the year, they brought with them a bag of over twenty cards and notes with encouraging Bible verses, inspirational quotes and lots of encouraging messages. In true creative style, Karen decided to not just pass them on but to hide them around the house to create a treasure hunt for when they left. I love treasure hunts and so having the challenge of finding these hidden treasures of encouragement helped to give myself a fun challenge in the sadness of their departure. I now use this bag of cards as a bit of a lucky dip when I’m in need of motivation.

Ongoing encouragement from others reminds me of that Bible verse in Hebrews which talks about a ‘great cloud of witnesses.’ This chapter talks of people of great faith that can act as role models and still encourage us, even though they have died. I am beginning to get to know a little of the Rastafarian faith here which is rooted in African traditions, and they talk about ‘honouring the ancestors’ and the sense that those who have passed on are also cheering us on and supporting us. I often wonder whether heaven is a lot closer than we realise and that there is a silent encouragement from those no longer with us.

Progress on the house can sometimes feel like three steps forward and two steps back. We were getting close to starting the major job of painting outside, when we discovered some serious plumbing work that was needed. Pipes had become blocked up with concrete thanks to a few guys who decided to wash buckets out in the downstairs shower instead of the outside tap!! Unfortunately, these pipes were laid inside the concrete walls so these needed drilling to find the blockage and then major digging in the garden to lay new pipes to be deep enough to drain away. This renovation project has certainly been an education for me in plumbing, electrics and the whole building trade!

Elsewhere in the house we have been making good progress on the main kitchens which are now almost complete. There is a video of the process on Instagram but the photos below show some of the new cupboards that just need varnishing and handles added. Once we have dealt with a few snagging issues and decorated, they will be ready to use.  

One of the cultural differences I have found here with building work is when tradesmen think that a job is complete and yet in the UK it would still be seen as not quite finished. Here, if it does the job then it is finished, regardless of the rubbish left at the end or how it actually looks. Functionality is the priority rather than the aesthetic look of a completed job. A neighbour was telling me recently how he had to have new guttering on his house after Hurricane Beryl. The workmen had put the guttering so that the ‘Made in Brazil’ embossed along the pipework was on the outside instead of hidden on the side facing the walls. A little thing that the builders hadn’t noticed but makes a huge difference to the look of the house. Another example is the current roadworks where new water pipes are being laid at the roadsides. The team are steadily moving up the island digging up the road, laying the pipes and then covering them over with uneven piles of soil or leaving deep trenches making these narrow roads even smaller. Somewhere there will be a list of roads that need concreting over but for now there is no sign of that happening because the pipes are laid and the roads are still passable, even if it means a single track at certain places. However this is a generalisation and there are some brilliant workers here who do get the job completely finished and cleared up afterwards. After trial and error with a few workmen I now have a good electrician, plumber, mason and carpenter.

Grenada is a good cure for perfectionism. Learning to live with the imperfect or not quite finished jobs is a good challenge for my personality. If you are familiar with the Enneagram personality types, I’m an Enneagram one. We are the perfectionists of the world who like to make things right, improve things and get things finished to a high standard. So, it’s ironic that I now live in a culture that accepts things as they are and is laid back about completing jobs. I remember when I was a new mother that the psychological principle of ‘good enough mothering’ helped me to accept that I couldn’t be a perfect mother. Actually instead, children need to learn that people can fail and make mistakes and so a good enough mother is a healthier option for everyone.

Now that I am renovating this house, I again have to learn that it won’t be perfect, but it will be good enough. I can strive for things being clean, functionable and aesthetically pleasing but no house is perfect, especially in a location where the sea air erodes things faster than they can be maintained. It has been quite reassuring to see that even the major hotels in the South struggle to prevent things from rusting or having the occasional cracked tile because they can’t find a matching replacement. So, when I am battling with a snagging issue, I need to remind myself what is important. As one visitor said, guests are hardly going to notice if the tiles don’t totally match in the bathroom when they can gaze out to the beautiful view of the sea.

There’s a difference between professionalism which is about thinking of the guests and wanting to offer them a good service and perfectionism which is thinking more about me and wanting to produce the perfect image. The first encourages me to be motivated to make things the best they can be whereas the second can just get me stressed that things aren’t how they should be. As Eckhart Tolle said ‘stress is caused by being here but wanting to be there.’

I’ve discovered how satisfying a major job can feel to both myself and the builders when, for example, new windows are put in or rotten kitchen cupboards are replaced with new ones. However pulling out old wires, sealing windows and filling up small holes is less rewarding and so needs a bit more encouragement to complete. I am increasingly making snagging lists as the major works get ticked off and the finishing touches need completing.

I remember from my days of cross country running for my school that it is hard to keep going when the end is almost in sight, especially when you think you are nearly there and then realise there is another few bends to run. I remember that the closer I got to the finishing line, the more I would realise how tired I was, and my legs started thinking about sitting down. But then there was the final push of determination to keep going to the end and before I knew it, I was over the finishing line. So, with the encouragement and support I have, I will get there in the end just like the sailing boats racing to Grenada.